Still

You will never know
Your worth to me.
For one grip
of your Palm
I’d trade every ounce of gold.

I never thought
That the nights we sat underneath the stars, and raised our Wine to growing old, side by side, would be nights we would call the “good ol’ days”

I find myself
stuck.
between the walls of memory.
Wiggling my way between your image and a faint echo of your voice that calls “still” to guide me into a bliss misreality.

When to old woes
I weep with new wails.
I still grapple your pillow in my desperate grip, latching my soul to your forensic trails of scent
We slept so close to one another, that I can still I hear you breathing in my dreams.

Still on grey Sunday mornings ,
When the angel’s tears drizzle drop by drop upon my window
My recollection yanks me to days when you were the soft sunshine I awoke to.

I still flinch in excitement
from the trace of the pattern your hands left on my body
How your fingertips played melodies,
Guiding bedded hairs into attention.
Your hands on my skin spoke in volumes.
My goosebumps were the narration of the stories created by your touch.

In still
I allow myself the illussion of your emotions tentamount to mine
Soothing my ravaraged soul.
You exercised your abililty to keep my heart on its toes,
Beneath the threshold of lust, above the very ecstasy of love.

Your memory I reminisce like a seed I have never sown
Although you tread my fickle heart with dirty shoes, invading my sanity .
I inhibit you with a hint of pleasure and nostalgia, soaked in regret.

I feel your lips
Softer than the inside of a rose, pressed against mine,
How you kissed me hard like u pluck kisses from the roots that grow on my lips. I think
If maybe
I bite my lips hard enough , they can bleed away the old skin that once had your name waltz across them.

You let me
Express myself on your body
I painted your thighs
You called it lust, we called it love
Just for the occasion

-To feel your loins boil & watch my skin steam,
Surprising me into surprising myself.

You felt like,
Coming home, with the door unlocked to
Finding everything exactly the way I left it –

I Hear your voice fade in to figment of far fetched fantasies.
As you guide me away from regret
to the path of wishful thinking
I hear your voice
weakaning me, with coloured black strength
whispering in the wind.

I follow the sound that beat my beating heart back
in to flash backs that flash back
At me of how
Still I fold you & put you
In the back pocket of my ripped jeans

I mount you on my walls next to my achievements
Framed bedside my kingsize
So I can carry your image from my thoughts into my dreams
Allowing your reign in my subconscious because you’re still the queen of my night.

Like black alley gospel
I said my scriptures between your thighs
Making you call to the heavens for mercy
Asking my demons for more punishment.
There is no part of profane that could prepare you for my hands
Hands that map a comunion in the cradle of your hips, rocking you back and forth in lusty lullabies.
Undressing my rigidness with your softness
One moment at a time.

Wishing for another touch of your tender comley skin is like
Walking in the heat all day with no water.

Still I look for you
In every trace that leads me back to you,
I can’t see this life without you
So I close my eyes & walk alone.
With my Walkman on
Powered to let you seduce my soul back into every moment I spent with you.
When we crashed into each other, after being lost in the currents of Neptune’s Salt Wash. The sinking heartbreaks to my Ocean’s 808

Still I have my nose to the ground, searching for your prodigal scent, digging beneath my paws in the dim nights.
Seizing my search at the top of the hill at the edge of the cliff, To howl my heart back into your memory.
Howl my soul into the distance, only to get closer to you
The love I can not touch.
Howling my cries to occult your name.
Wishing for another night to roam these woods with you, by your side.
One night that the lone wolf returns to his pack, his home. You.

With your sounds blasting
into my ears. I walk these insomniac nights, as the lonely knight, in distress without his damsel.
With every drunken step leading me to the wishing well
Where I wish you well.

In moments of still
I engrave my last lullaby on the walls of these black roses.
Forged into the last love letter, messaged in a bottle.
Scribbled in testimonies of I Vow, I dream, I am.

A scroll of how
I still dust you off
& play your symphonies into my being
So you can remind me
of how I explored your anatomy
Of everything I lost & all I gained
How still I let my ears climax & my soul quiver in synchrony with my spine feeling shivers to sound of your voice, your bass & treble, your fluctuations & seductive sound taking over my soul. How you still conduct the orchestra of my heart.

I threw a message in a bottle into the sea, and it reads

“P.S.

I find pieces of you in every song I listen to, Because you’re still my favourite song”