I remember once going over five years without a good cry. If I’m honest, it was probably closer to ten years than five. I cried a lot as a boy. I cried over anything I could until I was twelve. Perhaps thirteen. By fourteen it no longer seemed like an option. I closed that part of myself off as I dealt with what was, and to this day still is, one of the most difficult periods of my life. The separation of your grandparents .

When the tears finally came ’round I believe I was 22 years old. I had lived through a few heartbreaks and numerous traumas. I had often questioned why I always managed to keep it together. I wondered what it would take to break me. In the end, all it took was a minor disappointment from a girl I had a fling with to burst the floodgates wide open. I was extremely drunk and I broke.

I cried for what seemed like hours. I remember feeling so much pain and getting stuck on the phrase ‘it hursts so much’ as the traumas of the last decade came cascading down on the illusion of being okay that I had built. A friend was with me. He comforted me. Told me I had been holding a lot in for far too long.

Now on some days I sit on my own and find the weight of tears bearing on me for what appears to be no reason at all. But there’s always a reason. And you may not be willing to admit it to anyone, but on most of these days you know exactly why you need to cry. You know you’re happy. You know you’re doing well. But that one thing calls on you for an unrelenting cry and on those days, I encourage you to lean into it. Cry your heart out. Let all the unspoken words find their way out through your eyes. Put on a sad song (ask me for a few, I know many) and just cry. Cry for the artist who wrote your favourite tragedy. Cry for your father who failed to do so for himself. Cry for the women and children who will see tonight’s moon and never feel the touch of another morning’s sun. Cry, my most beloved child, for yourself and and tragedies you will no doubt endure despite my greatest efforts. And if you can, share these tears with a friend. And when there are no friends, you can always share them with me.