Tumi Frazier once wrote, “…broken parents breed broken families, which breed broken communities, which breed a broken nation…”

It is nothing new, on our campuses and in our academic and social circles, we encounter many young men, and women, who proudly declare that they are the product of a single mother. We celebrate their mothers, and extended family, for their commitment, love, and strength, in raising fully realized human beings. Unfortunately, in all of this, “love and light”, we cannot ignore the dark undertone that shades their uplifting stories, with dark clouds of curiosity and unspoken hurt. It begs an extremely personal question, “What happened to your father?”
Statistics South Africa reveales that, as of September 2016, 64% of South Africa’s households are run by single mothers. That means that in a group of 50 households, 32 of those households, are run by a single mother. Why is there a high number of absent fathers in South Africa? A study done by The South African Race Relations Institute claims that, the roots of “the absent father”, can be traced back to the Apartheid era in South Africa.
During this era, many fathers, black fathers particularly, were kept away from their children, thanks to their long working hours and them not having enough money to go back to their homes frequently. This shortage of money resulted in these fathers being denied the opportunity to, actively, raise their children, and participate in their development. This led to their being a significant amount of absent dads in poor black households.
It seems the trend lives on today. Of course, it has spread to many other communities and racial groups, as well as different class groups. Unsurprisingly, it is still more prevalent amongst poorer black families.
Nowadays the rise in absent fathers is attributed to an increase in teenage pregnancy, as well as, the rise in reported rapes in South Africa. A very sad reality to come to grips with 23 years into our democracy. Especially seeing as, there is a surge of black diamonds, (the black families who now live in the same income bracket as most privileged white families), in the South African economy, there has been a higher number of black university graduates and a boost in the economic presence of black families. This is surely a case of “where there is smoke, there is fire” … right? Unfortunately, in this case, not really.
On paper everything should be better, but it is not. The unemployment rate is at 54%, and single mothers, who do raise their children, continue to earn far less than single fathers. Perhaps, even more mind boggling, is how normal this has become. It is accepted, expected and not at all addressed or prioritized as a matter to research and address actively. Even though South Africa has a horrendous number of rape cases, school drop-outs , who come from broken homes, as well as a spike in mental hospital patients, especially in poorer black families, who are almost alaways headed by a woman.
This is not to say that it is the fault of single mothers, or that every child from a single parent home is destined to fail, it just indicates that the government should bring more funding into setting up more structures to support single mothers, and their families. If not, there should be more education on the role of the male child, and older authoritative male figure in every family. In fact, maybe both, along with a transformation in sex education offered in schools.
Maybe the sex education should focus on family planning, and its importance and not just abstinence and safe sex. There should be an awareness we pass down to our children about the economic reality we live in and how much of a benefit it is to them to be good male figures, good female figures, and have a good family structure. This is an important discussion to bring on to the table.