I saw him again today.
Typical to a summer afternoon, it was cloudy
threatening rainfall, the grey skies fulfilled their promise to us
so did you
you said you’d come and see me.

Everything is so comfortable between us
we’ve established a routine
You come
You drive
I ride
I come
Stripped conversations
sometimes silent, sometimes not
                                most times not
Similar to the friction in the air as lightening strikes
you stroke the tension in me
lightly, intently

We go at it again.
Two shots and I feel like my blood is pumping more than just vodka
I drown in your scent
Two rounds and I want more and more and more of you
I kiss you feverishly
Two rooms we’ve wrecked havoc in and given more time, it wouldn’t stop there
I am wanton
yet I’m not sure I want to be

For every time you help me reach my climax, there’s a part of me that wishes for more than just your body
the part of you I know you’ll never give to me
the part of you I know I don’t ever want to hold on to
I’m afraid to love you as freely as I have in the past
but you give me hope in the kind of relationship I crave
someone else to clutch when my heart is beating out of control
who wants to see all of me and proclaim their passion without holding back.

We deserve more than what we’re able to give to each other
I pray one day we’ll stop wandering aimlessly in hopes of
taking some but not all
opening happily while keeping tightly shut
We deserve more than conditions, unspoken rules
and
never
ending
gnaws for a something real