Here comes a feeling I thought I’d forgotten
wrapping itself around my waist
filling the spaces between my toes
each grain of it getting heavier
and heavier
like suffocating under sand
making its way into the deepest corners of my being

It’s words replaying in my head-
pills caressing my palm
growing more familiar to my body as they anticipate making their way down my throat and into the emptiness
hoping that they could be what finally makes me whole

My hands reach out for something to hold on to and everything is out of reach
and everyone is out of reach
and everything is out of reach
and I am out of reach

Long afternoons spent vacating in the pages of classics don’t suffice anymore
pen making love to paper leaves ink exhausted and not wanting to be used anymore
words look like the same alphabets not making enough sense

The walls hold my secrets again-
them and I, old friends who wrote their names in blood,
them always waiting and I never returning

But what is returning,
when one never left at all

And here comes the feeling I thought I’d forgotten