If crying makes me happy I will wail until I have nothing left
Because weird things bring me close to you, my 1st soul tie is you
My umbilical cord joined your soul with mine
Meaning your existence gave mine life. Your womb birthed a universe of imperfections put together perfectly
I’m feeling hollow today mom
Today is one of those days where I just miss your voice just your voice.
How it could make me rise from slumber and rattle my soul.
Your laughter tickled every cell in my body
Now my cells search for another tune.
I now know who my first love was it was you
No one can replace your love and intuition
The power of your presence in my existence.
I miss your embrace
Just your embrace
How a man could break my heart and you could put me back together by wrapping your arms around me
The lessons that you taught me have defined me in the strangest way, a way no person will never be able to grasp on a superficial level and Iunderstand why
I understand why you instilled strength and artistry in my being
So only a mind of love and intricate depth could accept me and love me truly even though I may Hand out love and light willingly to an estranged world. You knew, you knew what you were doing when you told me to write my pain down not only for myself but for the benefit of other souls to give a hand through lyrical ability. You gave me a name that I wouldn’t understand until age eighteen through the means of a dream that shook me into understanding who I was meant to be.
So every time I tell a stranger who I am it is a subtle reminder of the hope you had for me in a seemingly hopeless world.
Today was one of those days. I wrote this for us I often look at the sky and feel your presence. In my solitude I think of you when I see what you left in me, I know that every soul I come across will be impacted in a strange way. No not touched but impacted. That’s the Rhema you raised. So after crying for an hour today I realized time may not heal anything that I feel . when the silence consumes my thoughts or when the love we shared for my art makes me feel alone. The relativity of time will allow me to rewind to when you sang to me for in your womb the universe that was you. I will feel every thing that I’m meant to feel I will embrace it and let it go as I continue to grow.
I can only continue to appreciate the life you left in my vibrant soul. may have to brutally honest with myself the way you always were with me.
Three months later I’ve finally found the words to say