hi.
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to go about this, but I feel like having this conversation with you is better, so I’ll just talk.
I want to ask you so much, I just, don’t know where to start.
you hurt me.
you hurt us, yet when we flip through the pages you left for us to learn about you we’re taught that you love us.
we are constantly reminded that we’re suppose to do right by you, but how can we do that if you’re doing the exact opposite?
yes, our hardships are never forever, but why are they there in first place?
why do we suffer?
why do we cry?
why do you feel the need to make us turn to you so often by bringing us down to our lowest?
you’re already great, we know, and I’m sure as hell that you don’t need the validation you so richly seek from us. im sure you’re not that petty.
why are we able to translate your words in different meanings and languages?
you’re one ‘person’ I’m sure it shouldn’t be this difficult for us to decide on which language we should hear you speak in.
I’m sorry for going off like this and I know you hate questions, but I just have to ask this one question: if we’re made in your image, is your image torn, bruised and battered?
do you suffer from mental illnesses that have people looking at you like you’re not suppose to be alive?
is your image filled with rage and evil that can find it within itself to kill another for no given reason?
do you cry yourself to sleep in agony because you’re unable to keep the demons in your head at bay?
do you cut yourself in an attempt to remember what it feels like to be alive?
do you feel like dying every waking day of your life because the idea of being dead seems better than allowing your lungs to let oxygen in?
people that are invested in you with their beings and soul will look at me, judge me and make me feel like an outsider for just wanting to know so that maybe, maybe I can love you like they do.
I think this is called a prayer.
and I know I’m not on my knees and my eyes aren’t closed, but if you hear me and you can help me understand you better,
I’m all opened for lessons.