click to read Part I

She woke the next day to her phone ringing. It was obviously the 20^th call from Siya. She ignored it, again. She still didn’t feel like speaking to him. She didn’t want to speak or see anyone for that matter. Every part of her wanted last night to just be a bad dream. A bad dream that she could just brush off and carry on about her life. But she knew it wasn’t just a bad dream. She could still smell the man’s scent on her, even after the three showers she took throughout the night. To her, the scent reminded her of how weak and naïve she was. She was more ashamed, than angry.

She felt… dirty.

 

“No Johnny! You can’t keep doing this! I have had enough of these shenanigans.”

“YOU have had enough?! What’re YOU doing, woman? It’s MY life on the line here.”

“Whaaat? You know very well that everything you do will affect all of us.”

“Do you want to lose everything we have? This house, the cars and all the money you go shopping with? Huh? I didn’t think so.”

 

Lerato was on her way down the stairs when she heard her parents arguing. They’ve been doing it a lot lately but this is the first time she could really hear what they’re saying. “Lose everything we have? Is Daddy in trouble?” She had never been so confused. For a second, she had forgotten about what happened last night until…

“Arg, Johnny! Just do whatever you need to do to get rid of Shadrack.”

She immediately ran back to her room. The sound of his name frightened her. She threw herself on her bed and cried her eyes out until she fell asleep again.

Later that afternoon, her mother came to her room to wake her up because she had been in bed all day.

“Hao, Lerato? What’s going on here? What are you still doing in bed at this time? Or are you sick? Ah ah ah! It must be all that partying from last night! Did you drink? Lerato, how many times do I tell you that as a Christian girl…”

“No, Mama! I didn’t drink. I’m just… tired. Not sleeping during exams is just catching up with me.”

“Hmm… okay. Well, wake up now. I made lunch.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“But you haven’t eaten all day. Are you trying to die?”

“Ah, Mama… “

“No, Rato. I’ll see you downstairs in ten minutes.”

Lerato eventually went downstairs, just to make her mother happy (or rather, to get her off her back). She noticed that the table was only set for two so her father wouldn’t be joining them.

“Mama, where’s Daddy?”

“He went to work, Rato.”

“Work? On a Saturday? Daddy never works on a Saturday unless he’s going on one of his trips.”

“Yes, he went to a trip. “

“Oh? Where to this time?”

“Aowa, Lerato! You are asking me too many questions. Just ask your dad when he calls. Now, eat.”

Mrs Makgoba was obviously not in a good mood today, and Lerato knew it was because of that fight. She wondered what her mother would say if she told her about last night. She immediately brushed off that idea because she knows her mother will say she should not have gone out in the first place.

Mr Makgoba came back early on Sunday morning. He found Lerato in the kitchen, alone.

“Baby girl? Why are you sitting in this dark kitchen alone?”

“Just thinking.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

“I know. I have to go get ready for church now before Mama starts shouting.”

 

Lerato had never been more out of place than she did in that service. When Pastor Mhlengu spoke about purity and righteousness, she felt like everyone was watching her. Like everyone knew. She wanted to run out but she knew they would just make a big fuss and hold her down with prayer. Pastor Mhlengu often spoke about confessing to sin being the first step to redemption. So, she decided to pray silently to herself. She asked God to forgive her for her sins and promised not to put herself in that position again. A part of her felt like her prayer would be rejected as she had never been a true believer.

The sermon finally ended and all Lerato wanted to do was go home and lock herself in her room but as usual, her mother would spend more than thirty minutes chatting to other mothers in the church. She would normally rush to the car but someone would always manage to stop her for small talk.

“Lerato! You look so good today, my child. Ai, and look at your cheeks. Mama is feeding you goed, ne? I mean, look at your curves! You’re going to be my size in a few weeks.”

The lady laughed at her own joke whilst Lerato just stood there, waiting to be let go.

“Anyways, how were matric finals, Rato? I’m sure you will get 10 distinctions! Pela, you’ve always been a smart one. Maybe you should tutor my little Sammy.”

“Thank you, Mme. The finals were just okay. And of course I can help him before I go to university.”

“Yoh, university?! Where do you want to go?”

Lerato was already tired of this chat. She gave the lady short answers so she can get to the car. A few minutes later, her mother came and they drove back home, in silence.

In the next few weeks, life carried on as normal. Well, as normal as life could be. Her parents’ arguing got more hectic and she was more reluctant to be around them, especially her father. So, as life around carried on as usual, she fell apart. Lerato had never felt so alone in her life. There were nights when she considered jumping out her window just to make her forget about everything. But she never had the courage. “Courage”. Yes, at that moment in her life, she felt that it would take real courage…real guts, to just give it all up. She felt like a coward. She felt defeated.

 

It was only after about two weeks when she eventually answered Siya’s calls.

“What is it Siya?”

“Rato, my love! Finally! How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Baby, listen… I really think you should tell your parents about what happened, if you haven’t already. You need to get justice. We can’t let that sick sick man get away with it.“

“Arg, what do you care Siya?”

“What do I… What? Lerato, I love you and you know that. That bastard needs to be behind bars.”

“Says the guy that’s studying the same law degree that will later defend criminals.”

“Babe, you know I’m not even like that. Come on. “

“Goodbye, Siya”

“Rato…  “

 

The next day Siya came to the house, conveniently when both parents were home, fighting again. They put on their biggest smiles for Siya because they hadn’t seen him in a while and didn’t want him to know what’s going on. Lerato reluctantly went downstairs and spoke to Siya for a while until he started pushing her to tell her parents.

“Siya, you can’t make me do anything. This is my life.”

“Yes, but justice! Imagine all those other women.”

“Were all those ‘other women’ with me that night? Were YOU? Just let it go. I have! Geez.”

“Then I’ll tell your mother myself.”

“What? You can’t… “

 

“What’s going on here? Siya, what do you want to tell me? What happened?”

At that time, Lerato’s father walked into the room and was just as confused at what was being spoken about.

“Daddy… Mama, I just haven’t been dealing well with all the fighting around the house and exam results stress etc. And Siya has been quite worried about me. But I’m fine, really.”

“You see, John? I told you this nonsense with Shadrack needs to stop. It’s affecting the whole family!”

“Shadrack? As in Bra Shadrack?!” Siya looked wildly at Lerato. “Isn’t he… “

‘”Let it go Siya! Please!”

“Lerato, what’s going?” her father shouted, obviously trying to avoid the ‘nonsense’ argument with his wife again.

“No, John! Don’t pretend to want to know what’s going on these kids’ lives. This needs to end NOW!”

“Mr and Mrs Makgoba, Lerato… “

“Siya, no!”

“Hai, Mariam! Must you always bring this up? Let it go! Shadrack is on his way right now and… ”

“Mr and Mrs Makgoba! I’m trying to tell you that… “

“Let it go?? How dare you? How many times have I told you that… “

“I WAS RAPED!”

Everyone stopped shouting and just looked at Lerato in shock at what she had just blurted out.

“There, Siya. I said it. Are you happy? I was raped and… “

It was at that moment Bra Shadrack walked into the living room, with an angry look on his face. He had obviously heard everything. Lerato took one glimpse of him, got scared and ran out of the front door. Just a few seconds later, they heard screaming outside and a car screeched on the road, followed by a loud crash. And then… silence.

Click to read Part III