It’s been days since we last spoke
Your silence echoes in my head, Banging on to the drums of my ears, it’s the loudest thing I hear.

I know it hasn’t been easy, fighting for a union that birthed a seed that only germinates with effort, a plant that can’t be watered by tears of sorrow, only Joy, but I want to fight, for you, even during the moments that its you that I have to fight.

I cringe, In this skin that’s drenched in traces of your finger tips, you cradled my faults, & sheltered me in the disbelief that I actually have you,

The walls, in my room whisper your name, I hear faint gasps from our last conversation vibrate, through the hinges of my door.. sounds of “I’ll never let you go” creek through entries and exits of my memories

Your Ghost footsteps in the passages of my haunted chest remind me of how you walked into my life, how you feel like a place hearts don’t break.

The damaged film in my soul plays scenes of the first time I saw you smile behind your braces, to the last time your eyes locked into my pupils.

It plays scenes that rerun like a 90’s sitcom, Highlight reels from the first day we aired, Bloopers from our terrible first date, the first time I made you laugh, The first time I held you, scenes of me holding your hand even when we weren’t crossing the street.
Scenes of embrace like the deep breath you take right before you fell asleep inside these arms that you call home.

But it doesn’t play the song that made me realize how deeply In love I am with you, when we slow danced through Edgar’s
Or the first time we made up, because you got Mad that I beat you at 30 Seconds.
It only plays the scene of how it all ended, in 27.

PHONE RINGS

The first picture we ever took is on my screen. I’m instantly bombarded by overthunk thoughts, thoughts of Hope, hope that it’s time to fix this.. Yes we are probably gonna fight and you’re threaten to hang up but you won’t,
Let’s both be prideful till we concede, this might take hours.

But, but we’re gonna talk.. for the first time in days, let’s lumiere over the shadows of bad advice and whiskey bottles that have crept in with our insecurities, let’s fight.. and let’s win.

*picks up the phone*

“Hey”

I’m gonna start by playing it cool

“Hey, are you there”

But You haven’t said anything yet,

“Hey, Yow B-”

“hey look..”

Yes, you’re talking, but something is different, I can tell you’ve been crying, but you are trying to hide it, I can feel the lump on your throat inside of mine, the ache in your heart is suddenly beating into my chest, you’re hurting.

904 Miles apart, but my soul is next to you, I can feel you balled up on to your bed, wearing my sweater, with your left arm wrapped around your legs, and your right holding your phone to your ear.

But, I can’t feel the wetness of every sheet of twinsaver crumbled around your mattress, and floor. I can’t hear the soft blast of music coming from your iPod’s earphones at the foot of your bed.

All I can hear, is a towel is the towel you’re throwing into our relationship, every word you’re saying is breaking the down walls of my world one brick at a time, soft pains prance to my chest and mince my heart appause.

“Baby wai-“
-“goodbye Tondi”

*phone hangs up*
‘call duration 00:00:27’

The plant we watered with joyful tears is wilting, each leaf falls in winds that blow “she loves me not” through the vacant gardens you once walked through bare feet planting Tulips of your grace in my heart, nourished by the words that fell from your two lips, now left to decompose

The damaged film of my soul has run out, the scenes no longer play, our season is over, we no longer air, that’s it.. it’s done… the series of our love, has been cancelled.

After months of courtship, months of ups, months on downs, after all the time that was us, our clock stopped ticking, in 27 seconds

_________
-“hey look, uhm I don’t have
much airtime,
I’m not calling to fight
or to make up,
I know this is tough and we trying
but, it’s not enough
I just can’t do this anymore
I don’t want to break up with you
but I uh need to break up with you, Uhm
It just isn’t working,
& I can’t change my mind about this
I love you, thank you for trying,
you.. bye
take care of yourself”

-“BABY”

“Goodbye Tondi”